A Lesson Learned From Mud, Popped Balloons, and a Cracked Lollipop

Hot chocolate and my computer. It is time to write a blog. I have so much to write about, so much to say. It's been awhile since I've put my thoughts down. They usually just float around in my head at night when I am nursing or can't sleep even though I'm exhausted. Why tonight? A couple of reasons.

One: A friend said she missed my blog. Side note: What!? People read these!?

Two: My son turns 3 in a few weeks so I wanted to post pictures.

Three: While taking his pictures, I learned a lesson. More on the lesson in a second; be patient. Let me take a sip of my hot chocolate while it is still hot and I don't have a baby attached to me. Ok...ready?

Lesson learned: My life is not Pinterest. What!? MIND. BLOWN. But seriously, it is not. I am pretty much obsessed with Pinterest. Creating cute crafts, decor, organization help, recipes, holiday ideas, etc. It is amazing the creative bones people have. I love it ALL. But it is not my life and my life is not put together in perfect little boards. You may be confused as to where I am going with this. Let me create the scene of taking my son's pictures today which made me realize to take a step back.

My son is turning three. I take his pictures every year. I look on Pinterest for ideas, then in my head become a professional photographer. Reality check: I am not a professional photographer. And my son is a toddler. Two things that already have disaster written all over it. Anyway, I decide I am going to get balloons and a lollipop(his favorite) and go down to the Missouri River to take some pictures. He loves the river so I  thought it would be the perfect scenery. A memory to keep forever. I have the vision of the bridge in the background, his cute little smile, balloons floating softly in the air. The whole Pinteresty vibe going on here in my mind. What really happened? I had a cranky, hungry 4 month old in my Tula, my son just wanting to eat the lollipop and play in mud, me trying to carry a baby, blanket, huge balloons, and my purse in the wind. Probably the windiest day in Kansas we've had so far. Seriously? It was not fun. Two other kickers? I got 6 solid balloons, two popped as soon as we parked. And the huge round lollipop...my son dropped it at the last step and it shattered. Awesome. As I was trying to take a few pictures, the number 3 balloon was mostly trying to attack my son or just laying on the floor because of the wind. We've been to the river for 5 minutes and I'm already sweating and getting pissed.

That's when I stopped. I took a breath. Was I really getting all worked up over balloons and a lollipop? I needed to relax and be in the moment. I told my son to take off his "fancy" clothes and just go ahead and play in the mud. The look on his face. Pure joy. He was so excited I had freed him from my desire to take the perfect pictures. But his personality is not sitting on a blanket, staring off at a river. His personality is getting dirty, playing in mud, throwing rocks, and finding random objects to explore. That is my son and what I should be capturing. Him just being himself. The balloons still weren't really cooperating, but I managed to get more pictures that will actually remind me in 20 years how he acted in real life. Knee deep in mud with a huge smile. 

That was my lesson. So, thank you wind and cracked lollipop and popped balloons. Thank you for the reminder to not compare my life to Pinterest. Be us. Don't be afraid to play in the mud. Smile at the little things. Be flexible when things aren't going your way. It was such an eye-opening experience in what seemed like such a small moment in time. It was something I needed. Of course, I will still want the cute pictures and yes, I will still be getting ideas from Pinterest. I am just going to accept that I am enough. I am a good mom. I am enough. And so are you. You are doing awesome. Stop comparing and start realizing how much you really do for yourself and others. 

Here are a few of my favorites of my son...

Here are a few from his first birthday...

Here are his second birthday pictures...

Mom Confessions

I have a confession. Ok, 10 confessions.

Sometimes...I am a bad parent. I do things I know I shouldn't do as a parent. But...I do them anyway. Because it's easy or convenient or I don't want to hear screaming or I want to get something done. The bad part is it is completely on purpose to avoid situations or, to be honest, to be selfish. Is it bad that I do these things consciously or do I get some sort of leniency towards my actions? I don't do these ALL the time. But I do do them more than I care to admit. 

My mom confessions:

1. I let my son watch a TV show in the morning so I can drink my coffee HOT and/or wake up more because the sun isn't even awake yet.

2. I let me son watch a TV show while I cook dinner so I can...cook dinner.

3. I give my son fruit snacks so he will get in his car seat without a fight.

4. During his nap (if he takes a nap) I will eat candy or some type of junk food so I can eat it in peace and not have to share.

5. I give my son a snack or even buy a snack in the store so he will sit in the cart and behave.

6. I go on playdates so I can have an adult conversation. This doesn't usually happen they way I envision it, but it's still nice to get out and try.

7. I will drive around the block just a few more times than I need to in hopes he will fall asleep in the car.

8. I get distracted by Facebook, Instagram, and Pinterest. This is not necessarily on purpose, but I will get on my phone to check a few things and end up staying on for 30+ minutes. Essentially, ignoring Nate. 

9. I let my son eat an "easy" lunch. Because I don't want to cook 3 meals a day. Want a Lunchable? Sure? Pretzels with hummus? Go for it. 

10. Whenever we leave somewhere, I tell my son we are leaving because "insert place here" is closing for nap time. I literally did this today at Sea Life park. "We have to leave because the dolphins need there nap and it is closing for them to sleep in a quiet place". He bought it. But he didn't nap. Damn it. 

I know I am not alone in this. 

What are some of your mom confessions?/ Obviously I have no room to judge so share away!

Bump Brief #16

Bump Brief #16: 23 weeks

How far along? 23 weeks, baby is the size of a bunch of grapes! 

Total weight gain/loss: I have officially hit pre-pregnancy weight. Now weighing in at 147.
Stretch marks? Nothing new. 
Sleep: Not great this week. Heartburn has also started. I had heartburn with Nate, but not until the 8-9th months. I haven't broke out the Tums yet, but if it keeps up I may need to take some at night. Unless other people have some suggestions on battling heartburn!?
Best moment this week: Jason felt the baby kick from the outside...FINALLY! She kicked him hard, too. 

Miss Anything?  Being able to read books with Nate on my lap without having to warn him to be careful. He likes to jump on me and lay right in the middle and it is starting to hurt. I feel bad that he wants to cuddle and read, but I have to adjust him and remind him to be gentle. 
Movement: Night owl. She also likes to move while Nate and I read bedtime stories. 
Food cravings: Jason got me a ton of treats for Valentine's day so my sweet tooth is satisfied. Not craving anything in particular this week.
Interesting facts about baby (according to pregnancy app): 

1. baby is becoming more capable of controlling its own body temperature.

2. baby can feel mommy move and dance.

3. baby's muscles have developed enough that it can move in a variety of directions.

Gender: Girl!! We have not yet decided on a name yet. 

Labor Signs: No
Belly Button in or out? In, it might pop out this pregnancy though. It didn't with Nate, but it is looking strange and a bit more flat. 
Wedding rings on or off? On
Mood: Meh. This week was really blah. Jason wasn't feeling well, Nate woke up not feeling well, I didn't sleep, heartburn. It wasn't horrible. Just blah. Hoping i can get out of this little funk this week! I really have no reason to complain or have a blah week which is another reason why it's so frustrating I feel like this! 

Pictures today were not going to happen. I haven't showered, Nate was up super early coughing with a runny nose. i was just going to post a google image and call it a day. But I sucked it up. A whole 3 pictures. Not sure if you can see spots on both my shirt and yoga pants, but if you can...it's Nate's boogers. #momlife. Yes, I have changed. Into pajama shorts. I'm sure there will be more boogers once Nate wakes up from nap. I decided to post these because this is what it is like being a mom. It's real. It's sometimes gross. But there is a sweet little girl in my belly and I knew I would've regretted not having the picture.