Monday, October 19, 2015

A Lesson Learned From Mud, Popped Balloons, and a Cracked Lollipop

Hot chocolate and my computer. It is time to write a blog. I have so much to write about, so much to say. It's been awhile since I've put my thoughts down. They usually just float around in my head at night when I am nursing or can't sleep even though I'm exhausted. Why tonight? A couple of reasons.

One: A friend said she missed my blog. Side note: What!? People read these!?
Two: My son turns 3 in a few weeks so I wanted to post pictures.
Three: While taking his pictures, I learned a lesson. More on the lesson in a second; be patient. Let me take a sip of my hot chocolate while it is still hot and I don't have a baby attached to me. Ok...ready?

Lesson learned: My life is not Pinterest. What!? MIND. BLOWN. But seriously, it is not. I am pretty much obsessed with Pinterest. Creating cute crafts, decor, organization help, recipes, holiday ideas, etc. It is amazing the creative bones people have. I love it ALL. But it is not my life and my life is not put together in perfect little boards. You may be confused as to where I am going with this. Let me create the scene of taking my son's pictures today which made me realize to take a step back.

My son is turning three. I take his pictures every year. I look on Pinterest for ideas, then in my head become a professional photographer. Reality check: I am not a professional photographer. And my son is a toddler. Two things that already have disaster written all over it. Anyway, I decide I am going to get balloons and a lollipop(his favorite) and go down to the Missouri River to take some pictures. He loves the river so I  thought it would be the perfect scenery. A memory to keep forever. I have the vision of the bridge in the background, his cute little smile, balloons floating softly in the air. The whole Pinteresty vibe going on here in my mind. What really happened? I had a cranky, hungry 4 month old in my Tula, my son just wanting to eat the lollipop and play in mud, me trying to carry a baby, blanket, huge balloons, and my purse in the wind. Probably the windiest day in Kansas we've had so far. Seriously? It was not fun. Two other kickers? I got 6 solid balloons, two popped as soon as we parked. And the huge round son dropped it at the last step and it shattered. Awesome. As I was trying to take a few pictures, the number 3 balloon was mostly trying to attack my son or just laying on the floor because of the wind. We've been to the river for 5 minutes and I'm already sweating and getting pissed.

That's when I stopped. I took a breath. Was I really getting all worked up over balloons and a lollipop? I needed to relax and be in the moment. I told my son to take off his "fancy" clothes and just go ahead and play in the mud. The look on his face. Pure joy. He was so excited I had freed him from my desire to take the perfect pictures. But his personality is not sitting on a blanket, staring off at a river. His personality is getting dirty, playing in mud, throwing rocks, and finding random objects to explore. That is my son and what I should be capturing. Him just being himself. The balloons still weren't really cooperating, but I managed to get more pictures that will actually remind me in 20 years how he acted in real life. Knee deep in mud with a huge smile. 

That was my lesson. So, thank you wind and cracked lollipop and popped balloons. Thank you for the reminder to not compare my life to Pinterest. Be us. Don't be afraid to play in the mud. Smile at the little things. Be flexible when things aren't going your way. It was such an eye-opening experience in what seemed like such a small moment in time. It was something I needed. Of course, I will still want the cute pictures and yes, I will still be getting ideas from Pinterest. I am just going to accept that I am enough. I am a good mom. I am enough. And so are you. You are doing awesome. Stop comparing and start realizing how much you really do for yourself and others. 
Here are a few of my favorites of my son...

Here are a few from his first birthday...

Here are his second birthday pictures...